Who Invented Parades?

I bet it was not a dog-lover. I am just amazed at the strange things my people find to take me along to, each week its something new and more mind-boggling.

So now its something called a parade. A whole string of crazy cars, trucks, fire engines, horses, dogs, wheelchairs, motorcycles, and you name it. And I had to sit there and just be still? They made me sit quietly in a chair, and just watch. Drove me crazy, let me tell you! I was supposed to just sit there, and not chase all the candy rolling in the street? Not bark at the assortment of canines that walked along in the parade, or sniffed at me up on my chair? Not suck on the straw in the cup holder on the next chair?

At least Penelope held me so I could see a bit better. I am a bit short, you know.


I think the worst part was these SUPER LOUD sirens that kept going off. I am not sure what big dog they were trying to call, but it sure got my attention. I wiggled and squirmed and tried to jump up and hide in somebody's arms, but the sound grew louder and louder until I thought it might peel the cute blaze off my face!

Then the whole thing was suddenly over, and let me tell you, all heck broke loose as people ran for their cars, and joined a whole line of traffic. My people put me on my flexi-leash (which is not the least flexible, so its a dumb name because it never lets me do what I want!) and I had to run along on my short fat little legs as they headed down the street to the car. And if I saw something wonderful on the ground, like old gum, spilled pop, grimy cigarretts, etc...they would not even let me stop and devour it. I got pretty irritated at mom. Once I had the most incredibly yummy piece of tootsie roll paper under my tongue, and mom actually sensed it! I was hiding it so well, just pretending I was yawning, but all of a sudden she stuck her fingers in my mouth and dug around and pulled it right out. Like she didn't even care that she ruined my day. Insensitive human. They just don't understand about dogs and smelly stuff and lovely garbage and gooey textures.

On the way home I got to ride in the back of the truck. Mom was complaining to dad that i was probably going to catch my death of cold, or I would be lonely, or think they did not love me anymore, or all sorts of terrible things. I could not hear what else she said. My ears were too busy flapping in the breeze in the back of the truck. I loved it!

Next year, I wonder if they will let me be in the parade? I could carry the tootsie roll wrappers under my tongue?