Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My New Year's Resolutions

1. Catch the cats. At least one of them. The smart aleck one, preferably.
2. Always get more attention that Pluto. If he is being petted, ease up next to the petter, looking cute and pathetic, then position my body between the Terrier and the Human. Human must immediately transfer hand or foot to my body. Pouting Terrier is a plus.
3. Learn to bark louder than the neighbor dogs. I really try, but all I have is this girlish little "woofey" kind of bark. Darn Golden Retrievers...
4. Find out what is at the top of the stairs. I have really been thinking about making a break for it, but the MONSTER aka squirt bottle might get me!
5. Ride in the car WITHOUT being in my crate. I really think I could drive the car, if they would let me. It doesn't look that hard. At the very least, I could hand out some excellent advice.
6. Get french fries at McDonald's drive-through. My Aunt's cousin's friend's babysitter's dog told me she gets french fries every time. Its not fair. Of course she also told me that she barks at bank tellers just IN CASE they might have french fries. So she is kind of stupid..AND spoiled.
7. Master agility. By that I do not mean to correctly approach and go through each obstacle as taught. No way, baby. I mean to find a way to go AROUND each item, and STILL GET THE TREAT. I have done it a few times, and man, its a hoot. Everyone goes crazy trying to catch you or get the treat before you get to it.
8. Eat more toys. Not more dog toys. Just more toys in general. Barbies, Lincoln Logs(tasty!), doll clothes, I'm not too picky.
9. Stop getting sent out of the room at meal time. Everything smells SOOOO good, I just want to get any crumbs they might drop. C'mon..its just crumbs. Its not even a helping, for Pete's sake. I lay quietly and patiently at the kitchen entrance the entire time they are cooking it, wouldn't you think I could at least sit and drool at their feet while they are eating it?
10. Be braver about watching movies. Pluto is so brave, he can sleep through explosions, gun shots, dogs barking (that one really gets me), people shouting, cars racing, etc while my people watch a movie. Me? I leap around like a crazy rabbit, hide under feet, race in and out of the room, and sometimes bark and whine. Movies drive me a bit nutty. I want to be brave like Pluto. Actually, I want to be the one choosing the movies..but that's for another list of goals. I'd choose all movies where dogs chase cats, get cats, and maybe eat cats. Or just nibble on them. Now, THERE'S a good movie....